“Learning how to live takes a while life.” Seneca.
Sometimes it takes every fibre within me to get it right and then i am not so sure that I have managed it. They are so different, so many ages, so many needs under one roof.
Everyone wanting, no needing something different . A different tone of voice, a different glance a different level of enthusiasm. It’s the little things which make a difference; the nuances in behaviour which will have the biggest impact on them. The things which when they are on their own are easy. When you have to swap between them though, sometimes with only seconds in between; as you pass from one conversation to another, giving attention, affection, direction , whatever they require in that moment- these little things are exhausting.
After a day of worrying about eldest, taking middlest camping (and driving back to the campsite in the later afternoon with all the items she had forgotten) , and keeping smallest on a level, I reach for a book and manage a paragraph. EastEnders seemed the best way to zip the day up.
As I made my way to serenity the phone rang. “You will never guess what Splods!”
“What’s that Dad?”, I say , pumping the last of my enthusiasm into my response.
“You know those bloody bars of soap I ordered from Amazon?”. He is tripping over his words now.
“Yup”, I reply.
“They have arrived- six weeks late! The bloke down the road had them.”
His excitement is palpable as he then tells me how, with the replacement order , he now has or will have 32 bars of soap.
“Enough to last me till the end of July 2023!”, he states triumphantly.
I laugh out loud. Both at the fact that he has calculated this and at our enthusiasm for soap, of different varieties. The laughter seals what was, quite honestly a day where I know I existed for everyone else but I’m not quite sure where I was in it all.