There was a certain inevitability about the early summer heat. That it would run out. Too much too soon – not like the year before last, when you just knew that it would go on and on and on- and it did. It was relentless and so has the rain been this summer. Like nothing I can remember and granted, I don’t remember everything, but I do remember summertime.
There is something about the summer which remains nested in a compartment of my mind so that I can recall the moments and feelings that I attached to every one
The weather and the events of that year.
It’s all there, I only have to sit and inhale the air, think of a specific year and I can get it back.
And there is something about summer that I want to get back
Even this one as while it hasn’t been dry or particularly warm, it has been eventful
And some of those events, have just been everyday occurrences but they have struck me as significant.
Like when smallest saw the female thrush pick up a worm from the pavement on our ride to his multi-skill camo this morning, he stopped, turned, and smiled as he told me
Or when I found him nestled amongst all his clothes on the bedroom floor because he was trying to find his Adidas shorts and I felt the end of my patience nestled in my throat,
Until he raised his arm in the air, shorts aloft, “I found them Mummy I did it”
“You did pops”, and I smiled.
There is a kind of sadness in summer, Lana del Ray called it that didn’t she? , summertime sadness, and I get that now. It can be bright and you can be with your best people having the most wonderful time but there it is, the sadness- lingering on the edge of the moment like a reminder of your mortality.
It takes me back and the nostalgia sometimes blights your capacity to feel now.
Perhaps when there is a now that is stronger than then ,
That will change.
Mum’s the word 